Excellence University Journal

Interpersonal Expertise Tip: Utilizing Relationships to Increase Access to Our Potential (and Helping Others Do the Same)

by Dr. Brian Higley

February 1st, 2010

One of the most popular lines in movie history is the famous “you complete me” line that Tom Cruise said to Renee Zellweger near the end of the movie “Jerry Maguire.”  This is a truly memorable movie line, but it can perpetuate one of the major myths to relationship satisfaction: the idea that significant others (business partners, friends, romantic partners) “complete” us.  It sounds nice at first, but what happens when that other person is not in our life (either temporarily or permanently)?  We are left as an incomplete person!  This Interpersonal Expertise Tip focuses on how to create relationships that help us to access more of our potential – rather than cultivate feelings of dependency – while also encouraging growth in significant others in our lives as well.

Allowing  our relationships to promote personal growth rather than dependency can be facilitated by a realization that such relationships can help us become more of who we already are (and provide the same opportunity to others).  Here are some ways people have been able to utilize their relationships to access more of their own potential and help others do so at the same time:

• Spend time around supportive others. The ability to access more of our potential often begins with placing ourselves in environments that support self-exploration and self-acceptance.  It can be helpful to generate a list of people, inspirational quotes or places that help us to feel comfortable being or exploring who we are.  The effects of supportive environments can be amazing to those of us who are not used to feeling encouraged to be or explore ourselves.
• Commit to a win-win or no deal mindset. Win-win or no deal is a mindset of never settling on a compromise until all parties are truly satisfied with an outcome.  When we commit to this mindset, we can often find that great ideas that were locked inside of ourselves are unleashed.  We can try this in all sorts of situations, from deciding on how to move forward with a client with our co-workers to how to raise our children with our romantic partners.
• Find what we admire most in others in ourselves. It has been suggested that the characteristics we most admire in others are often unacknowledged parts of ourselves.  It can be helpful to make a list of the characteristics that we most admire in others then attempt to find those characteristics in ourselves.  Many are amazed by how much of these characteristics are actually already a part of themselves – and some enjoy making plans on how to access even more of these characteristics in the future.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can move toward accessing more of your potential through others by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Increase access to myself through my relations with others”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Engage in at least 1 win-win or no deal conversation with others every week.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence and Interpersonal Expertise tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellenceuniversity.net

Article Filed under: 2. Interpersonal Expertise Tips