Interpersonal Expertise Tip: Practicing Honest Influencing (vs. Manipulation and Control)
by Dr. Brian Higley | 3 comments
Whether we notice it or not, every day is filled with attempts to influence others – from what goals we want to pursue with others to what we will eat to how to raise our kids with our significant others. In other words, we are constantly negotiating with others. One of the major myths of negotiation is that one should “leave the table” feeling as though one has won or received what one wants at the expense of others.
This “me vs. you” negotiation mentality often leads to manipulative and controlling negotiations filled with traps and smoke screens. This may lead to short term victories, but in the end this style of interacting destroys the possibility of long-term, effective and satisfying relationships. Honest influencing and negotiation helps build a long term”win-win” relationship focusing on mutual benefit and success. When we learn how to negotiate with others honestly, even when others are not doing so with us, we add another piece of the Interpersonal Expertise puzzle. (more…)
