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Organizational Execution Crisis

Welcome to the Excellence University (EU) Journal. EU is an association of organizations all committed to providing the highest quality on site and online training in three core areas: Business Excellence, Personal Effectiveness, and Life Satisfaction.

February 6th, 2010

Interpersonal Expertise Tip: Engage in Honest, Respectful, Empathic (HRE) Communication

by Dr. Brian Higley

Many of us have experienced the problems that miscommunication often brings about in our lives. It has been our experience that much of this dissatisfaction and conflict is caused by being (or at least feeling) misunderstood by well-meaning others.  We can often avoid this unnecessary pain by expressing our views in honest, respectful, and empathic ways and encouraging others to do the same with us.  Establishing such communication styles can  open the door to more direct discussions; the kind of communication that is free of dishonest manipulation or attacks and filled with genuineness and respect for all parties (including ourselves).

Increased engagement in honest, respectful, and empathic communication respects the boundaries, uniqueness, and limitations of ourselves and others.  More honesty tends to increase our trust in ourselves and in others, more respect can increase openness, and more empathy can set a tone of comfort and understanding.  Here are some ways people have been able to cultivate more “HRE” Communication in their lives: Read the rest of this article »

February 5th, 2010

Interpersonal Expertise Tip: Practicing Honest Influencing (vs. Manipulation and Control)

by Dr. Brian Higley

Whether we notice it or not, every day is filled with attempts to influence others – from what goals we want to pursue with others to what we will eat to how to raise our kids with our significant others.  In other words, we are constantly negotiating with others.  One of the major myths of negotiation is that one should “leave the table” feeling as though one has won or received what one wants at the expense of others.

This “me vs. you” negotiation mentality often leads to manipulative and controlling negotiations filled with traps and smoke screens.  This may lead to short term victories, but in the end this style of interacting destroys the possibility of long-term, effective and satisfying relationships.  Honest influencing and negotiation helps build a long term”win-win” relationship focusing on mutual benefit and success.  When we learn how to negotiate with others honestly, even when others are not doing so with us, we add another piece of the Interpersonal Expertise puzzle. Read the rest of this article »

February 4th, 2010

Interpersonal Expertise Tip: Avoiding Unnecessary Conflict, Resolving Necessary Conflict

by Dr. Brian Higley

Many of us have been raised reading fairy tales that often end with the heroes living “happily ever after” once they have overcome “the bad guys.”  Contrary to the relationship myth of happily ever after, occasional friction in long-term relationships of all kinds (professional and personal) is often unavoidable, no matter how many interpersonal barriers (or “bad guys/ineffective habits”) are overcome.  This conflict can be draining and overwhelming if not handled with skill and care.  The good news is that if addressed well, interpersonal conflict can actually open the door to more effective and satisfying relations with others.

Because conflict in relationships is a given from time to time, it can be important to develop the ability to avoid unnecessary conflict while facing and resolving the necessary conflicts with others in our lives.  This can be done in three phases: (1)  identification of avoidable conflicts and minimization of such conflicts, (2) identification of unavoidable conflicts and genuine resolution of these conflicts, and (3) transformation of currently unavoidable conflicts into conflicts that can eventually become more avoidable in the future. Read the rest of this article »

February 3rd, 2010

Interpersonal Expertise Tip: Affirming Similar Core Values

by Dr. Brian Higley

In order to have a truly satisfying relationship with other people we must know our core values (ways of thinking or behaving that we do not want to compromise on) and be able to identify and affirm these values in important others.  Having a clear idea of these values helps us and those around us to better know whether or not we can expect to have a smooth relationship or one that will consistently experience dissatisfying “road bumps.”  This Interpersonal Expertise Tip focuses on identifying core values in ourselves and others – and how affirm these values in ways that strengthen relationships.

Core values can be affirmed by becoming clear about our own values and helping others do the same.  If this is done thoroughly, the chances that we will be able to affirm similarities goes up significantly (longer lists of core values makes it more likely that at least one core value from each person’s list will overlap).  Here are some ways people have been able to affirm similar core values: Read the rest of this article »

February 2nd, 2010

Interpersonal Expertise Tip: Appreciating (and Utilizing) Differences

by Dr. Brian Higley

So often, we can make the mistake of wanting everyone in our lives to be exactly like us; this desire can cause consistent problems in our relationships.  After all, surrounding ourselves with others who are exactly the same as us is a sure route to boredom and/or stagnation!  Some say that the answer is a more “tolerant” attitude toward those with differences, which can imply that we should simply put up with others’ differences so we can all survive together.

It is our position that true appreciation of differences (rather than simple toleration of them) comes from a realization of how useful our collective differences are to our collective ability to not only survive together, but to thrive.  This Interpersonal Expertise Tip focuses on identifying how our differences can be turned from annoyances or experiences to be tolerated to opportunities for satisfaction, achievement and/or growth – for all people involved. Read the rest of this article »

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